It’s been a week since my last entry. Not something I’m proud of but I’ve been really preoccupied. I’m closing in on the trial date for my divorce (November 19th). Even though I have a lawyer, and I’m a former one myself, it doesn’t change the emotional stress or time-consuming preparation that go with it. Add to that the fact that I’m co-trustee, along with my sister, for assets managed on behalf of our 93-year-old Mother in this economy…well, watching the portfolio decline day after day is no barrel of laughs either.
So what’s a girl to do?
Well, today I read someone else’s blog about the importance of preparation and thinking in advance. Seems the theory is that if you prepare in advance in your mind for possible outcomes….you’re less likely to be surprised or caught unaware. So I tried to apply that, in hindsight, to where I find myself in the moment. I asked myself if forethought would have changed anything about these two challenges I now face, simultaneously.
Did I mention I’m also recovering from a torn tendon in my ankle…7 weeks in a cast…and now 8 weeks of physical therapy ahead of me?
Could I have planned for my divorce? Would advanced thinking have changed anything? Well, remember, I’m a former divorce lawyer so I guess, from a legal standpoint, I could have insisted upon a prenuptial agreement and that would have settled the financial aspects of it all. But I never gave it a second thought because to me, a pre-nup is pretty much like hedging your bet and saying “part of me thinks this is a losing proposition.”
Not exactly the way I wanted to enter into marriage.
As for the whole “Could I have planned for the emotional let down and pain of parting with someone I thought would be my best friend for life?” possibility…I don’t think so. I think if you go into love full throttle forward, with no holding back, you run the risk of getting your heart stomped…but what a ride if you don’t… or until you do! I don’t think I’d want to play it safe and miss the fullness and richness of that experience for the safety of reserving some of my feelings for a possible rainy day.
As for the trust assets?
Well, it’s only one-quarter of them that’s heading south. The other 75% are pretty solid, so in some sense there was some advanced thinking and planning or it would all be heading in that direction. As for the severity of this downturn or the longevity of it…Life is chance and there are no guarantees. If worrying about money is the most important thing we’ve got going for us… well, perhaps we’re missing the whole point of this ride called Life.
So what’s my answer if not “better advance planning?”
It’s higher values, acceptance and trust.
I think that if we devote our energy to being the best we can be and seeking the highest good for all concerned in every situation we will automatically be prepared in advance for any occurrence. That appraoch makes it possible to live fully in the Now.
If we accept that what shows up in our lives..the seemingly good, bad and the ugly…are all for us to learn from, then we have no regrets, but instead look upon every occurrencey as a potential growth experience.
If we trust that the Universe (and our higher Self) know what we need and will provide it, we can anticipate the best, instead of preparing for the worst, and in so doing create a more meaningful outcome.
I love to play with words. The first letters of higher values, acceptance and trust are HAT.
Next time you’re in a situation such as I am in right now…lots of stress and challenge…just change HATs. Take off the worry hat and go for the Hhighest good for all concerned while Aaccepting what is and Trusting what will be.
I just did and I feel better already.
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