Archive for November, 2008

Divorce & The Economy

It’s been a week since my last entry. Not something I’m proud of but I’ve been really preoccupied. I’m closing in on the trial date for my divorce (November 19th). Even though I have a lawyer, and I’m a former one myself, it doesn’t change the emotional stress or time-consuming preparation that go with it. Add to that the fact that I’m co-trustee, along with my sister, for assets managed on behalf of our 93-year-old Mother in this economy…well, watching the portfolio decline day after day is no barrel of laughs either.

So what’s a girl to do?

Well, today I read someone else’s blog about the importance of preparation and thinking in advance. Seems the theory is that if you prepare in advance in your mind for possible outcomes….you’re less likely to be surprised or caught unaware. So I tried to apply that, in hindsight, to where I find myself in the moment. I asked myself if forethought would have changed anything about these two challenges I now face, simultaneously.

Did I mention I’m also recovering from a torn tendon in my ankle…7 weeks in a cast…and now 8 weeks of physical therapy ahead of me?

Could I have planned for my divorce? Would advanced thinking have changed anything? Well, remember, I’m a former divorce lawyer so I guess, from a legal standpoint, I could have insisted upon a prenuptial agreement and that would have settled the financial aspects of it all. But I never gave it a second thought because to me, a pre-nup is pretty much like hedging your bet and saying “part of me thinks this is a losing proposition.” 

Not exactly the way I wanted to enter into marriage.

As for the whole “Could I have planned for the emotional let down and pain of parting with someone I thought would be my best friend for life?” possibility…I don’t think so. I think if you go into love full throttle forward, with no holding back, you run the risk of getting your heart stomped…but what a ride if you don’t… or until you do!  I don’t think I’d want to play it safe and miss the fullness and richness of that experience for the safety of reserving some of my feelings for a possible rainy day.

As for the trust assets?

Well, it’s only one-quarter of them that’s heading south. The other 75% are pretty solid, so in some sense there was some advanced thinking and planning or it would all be heading in that direction. As for the severity of this downturn or the longevity of it…Life is chance and there are no guarantees. If worrying about money is the most important thing we’ve got going for us… well, perhaps we’re missing the whole point of this ride called Life.

So what’s my answer if not “better advance planning?”

It’s higher values, acceptance and trust.

I think that if we devote our energy to being the best we can be and seeking the highest good for all concerned in every situation we will automatically be prepared in advance for any occurrence. That appraoch makes it possible to live fully in the Now.

If we accept that what shows up in our lives..the seemingly good, bad and the ugly…are all for us to learn from, then we have no regrets, but instead look upon every occurrencey as a potential growth experience.

If we trust that the Universe (and our higher Self) know what we need and will provide it, we can anticipate the best, instead of preparing for the worst, and in so doing create a more meaningful outcome.

I love to play with words. The first letters of higher values, acceptance and trust are HAT

Next time you’re in a situation such as I am in right now…lots of stress and challenge…just change HATs.  Take off the worry hat and go for the Hhighest good for all concerned while Aaccepting what is and Trusting what will be.

I just did and I feel better already.

REMEMBER to click here to download a FREE copy of my e-book, “Too  Many Secrets.”


Did you like this? Share it:

Election Blues

I had an interesting experience this past week. I wrote a blog entry about Barack Obama that spurred a reader to comment and share his opposing view. His thoughts were intelligent and well thought out…and even though I didn’t agree with him I did reply. Which prompted him to send a second and more lengthy comment. By this time, we had exchanged enough thoughts that the distance between our positions had closed somewhat.

It was gratifying to turn what felt like an adversary into a friend.

But there was something even more important about our exchanges.  While he is voting for Barack Obama, and I still don’t know what I’ll do two days from now, he made a statement in his second exchange that stunned me. He said that he was voting for Obama with reservations; however, McCain was not an option for him and to vote for a third candidate, such as the Green Party, would effectively be like staying home.

It got me to thinking about the countless people I have spoken with and e-mailed with over the past 6 months who aren’t really voting for either Obama or McCain out of conviction, but rather simply because one or the other is the lesser of two evils. Or, if that statement is too strong, then because neither is great but they’re all we’ve got.

Which is the part that stuns me.

I suspect that if everyone who isn’t thrilled with either of these two men would actually go into the voting booth on November 4th and all vote for another choice….we’d probably elect that other choice! And so what is frustrating to the point of madness is that “they”…the powers that still behave us believing that we only get to choose from the options they present.

Just where is that written?

I write a great deal about our awakening consciousness and the profound changes that are taking place in our world as a result of that awakening. I think this election is a perfect example of how things have been and how we can affect how they will be going forward.

John McCain effectively got the Republican nomination because he “waited his turn” within his party. Barack Obama got his nomination through clever politicking and a ton of money. Then they both said, “Take your pick. We’re the only games in town.”

Well, I don’t think so. 

Maybe for the moment, because we have awakened slowly and this one got by us. But it can and will be different from Now on…if you believe that you get to create the reality you want and do not have to settle for someone else’s version.

I know what my reader was saying when he said that voting for the Green Party candidate or some other third option would be like staying home. I know what he meant but I disagree, and I think he’s actually helped me make up my mind. I get to choose….it’s my vote…and as the old saying goes…every journey begins with one small step.

I’ve set out on a journey for real change. The kind that will create a world where personal autonomy, personal responsibility, and personal integrity are the norm. If I can’t make it happen on November 4th…I can at least take one small step on that journey by voting not for their reality but for mine.

REMEMBER to click here to download a FREE copy of my e-book, “Too Many Secrets.”


Did you like this? Share it: