Archive for July, 2009

Its been my policy since inception of this blog to write from a positive perspective and to always bring you the most inspiring message. Regular readers know that my oft quoted motto is “the highest good for all concerned.”  I’ll get there today as I always do.

But today, the road there is first through a dark and unseemly place. There’s simply no way around it.

In the 13 years during which I practiced Divorce law, there wasn’t a single case in which a husband had an extramarital affair that the wife did not know.  She always knew.  She may not have admitted it to herself… she may have blocked that knowing out… she may not have known the details… but in every single case she knew.  I can make this assertion with certainty because whether she admitted it to me at the beginning of the case…or somewhere later down the road…my clients whose husband’s had so behaved always, ultimately, recognized and acknowledged that they knew.

I tell you this because something is wrong in America. 

We all know it.

We may not want to admit it.  We may be trying to block out our knowing with diversions such as Michael Jackson or Bernie Madoff or All Star Games or summer vacations… but we know it.  We may not know the details or be able to state with certainty how or when it went wrong, and continues to go wrong, but we know it.  We may not want to admit it because to do so would mean we’d have to also admit that where it’s headed is untenable and that would mean we’d each have to step up and actually do something about it.

There isn’t time or space here for details.  Perhaps President Obama’s appointments to the offices of “Science Czar” and “Green Jobs Czar” (scroll down and read the “Political Evolution” section of the Wikipedia link) make the broader case for me.  These are people with disturbing histories who have been dropped into positions of authority and power and whose actions are unaccountable to Congress.

I don’t think that ruminating over what is wrong or ignoring what we instinctively feel in our “guts” is what matters. I think what matters is what are we going to do about it?

In hindsight I don’t know if any of my former clients could have saved their marriages by confronting the reality of those affairs at the time and taking a stand based upon self-respect and dignity. But here’s the thing. They’ll never know. What they do know is that burying their heads in the sand only prolonged their pain, diminished their self-esteem and cost them a fortune in dignity and legal fees.  Let us learn a little, or a lot, from their mistakes.

Something is wrong in America.

Each of us who knows this needs to act.  So far, I have two ideas.

The first is to speak truth to power and not be afraid to say, every day… every chance we have…to anyone we can… that, in fact, something is wrong in America and its time to change that.

Secondly, we need a Gandhi or Dr. King. We need a peaceful march on Washington and we need it in numbers so large that our collective voices cannot be silenced.

This is all I know for certain at this point. But if we can get those two accomplished, I am certain the next logical step will emerge in its proper time.

If you agree that we need that march on Washington, and that together we can do it, please pass this on.  I welcome all who are ready to admit that something is wrong in America and are also ready to do something about it.

Carole

P.S.

Because you often feel like one voice singing in the darkness… I know I sometimes do… I’ve pasted the lyrics to Barry Manilow’s song “One Voice.”  

Just One Voice,
Singing in the darkness,
All it takes is One Voice,
Singing so they hear what’s on your mind,
And when you look around you’ll find
There’s more than

One Voice,
Singing in the darkness,
Joining with your One Voice,
Each and every note another octave,
Hands are joined and fears unlocked,
If only

One Voice
Would start it on its own,
We need just One Voice facing the unknown,
And then that One Voice would never be alone,
It takes that One Voice.

It takes that One Voice.

Just One Voice
Singing in the darkness,
All it takes is One Voice,
Shout it out and let it ring.

Just One Voice,
It takes that One Voice,
And everyone will sing!