Archive for January, 2008

>     After following the Romney win in Michigan and the dialog on the Democrat side as of late, I am concerned that despite identifying the challenges we face there is still a lack of understanding and unwillingness to prioritize the “how” of how we meet these challenges. 
    In the last week or two the economy has become the number one issue…as it frequently does in election years. This fact is an indication that we continue to focus on what I would call the “quantity” of our lives rather than the “quality” of them.
    The stock market is getting shaky and so Mitt Romney, successful Governor and CEO, is rising to the top because of his record of fiscal responsibility, not to mention turning around an Olympic Committee mess. Not to take anything away from him, he also seems to be a decent and ethical man (although I still can’t get over that “tying the family dog to the top of the SUV for a fun vacation” thing). On the Democrat side, the major players are now talking about “stimulus packages” (a.k.a. more taxes)as their proffered solution to what looks like a pending recession.
    OK. The wheel turns. The days of the unbridled stock and housing markets are winding down to a slow crawl. This is life and this is how it happens. Everything changes.
    The issue is not how we address it in the short run…how we bail out the greedy banks, mortgage and insurance companies as well as the unrealistic homeowners who grabbed for the brass ring and fell flat on their faces…but how we address the deeper and extended challenge of making our future work force, the children of today, more able to be part of both a national and a global economy by being educated to contribute to both with needed and marketable skills.
    Yesterday I was listening to a special report on National Public Radio. It was an interview with a man in Massachusetts who sells typewriters. Yes, that’s right. Typewriters. Not computers. What he said was that there is a certain percentage of his business that is the 16-24 year olds who want a typewriter. What he is hearing from these young people is that while they enjoy the slowed pace, the sound of the keys striking the page and even the bell at the end of each line…it’s the absence of temptation when at the keyboard to access the internet that allows them more focused attention and less stress.
    We have to educate and prepare our children, not stress and brow-beat them into thinking that more is never enough and faster is never fast enough.
    I remember in 1992 when James Carville, political strategist for then Presidential candidate Bill Clinton, coined the phrase “Its’ the economy, stupid” to underscore then President George H. W. Bush’s lack of understanding for fiscal issues. Well, it’s not the economy. It’s the type of society we continue to create by thinking and acting as if the future doesn’t matter in pursuit of short-term satisfaction.
    Our very creative and bright 14-year-old daughter is a whiz on the computer, cell phone, and ipod. And she has a required $150 Casio calculator for 9th grade Algebra. She also has a tutor for math. It’s not her strongest subject. Recently, we realized that while she can perform some very advanced technological tasks, she doesn’t know her multiplication tables 1 through 12. Now, you may not think that’s a big thing in today’s world but I can assure you that “the building blocks of a foundation” are always important…although that’s never really apparent until things start to collapse.
    Which brings me back to the election of 2008.
    I am not interested in quick fixes, magic formulas, bailing out stupidity and greed or any other superficial panaceas that address symptoms, not root causes. I’m looking for a candidate who is schooled in the fundamental building blocks of Life and Responsibility and has the courage not only to speak to them but to apply them and ask that we apply them as well.
    Until such a candidate appears, I’ll be practicing times tables with my 14-year-old.

>     There is so much talk these days from the Conservative Right likening what is happening in the United States, and globally, to Fascism that I think some perspective might be of value.  Yes, I am certain there are those in today’s world who would like to wield the power of the few over the control of the many. Such people have always existed. What changes is simply their methodology of choice and our willingness, or unwillingness, to play by their rules.
    Fascism’s method of choice is to convince us that we are indistinguishable from one another, interchangeable, and subject to the opinions of a ruling elite as to what each of us has and has access to achieving. Under Fascism, the rights of the individual are subordinated to the rights of the State. Perhaps its overriding characteristic is zero tolerance for anyone who thinks or acts “outside the box” of that which is legally and societally mandated to be “correct” thought and “correct” behavior. And yes, Fascists exist here and now.
    However, the more important issue is where, exactly, is your Here and Now? For where you “Are” in your consciousness determines the experiences you will have. So, naturally, those people who are motivated by fear and living in a world where victimization is the result of circumstances beyond their control rather than the outcomes caused by their own choices, see the evolving concept of world unity within the confines of their narrow and fear-based view. The enemy is out to get them.
    The evolving concept of Unity, or Oneness, to which I and so many others have awakened, exists in opposition to all that Fascism strives to create. Oneness is not an abdication of personal rights, responsibilities and identity. To the contrary, it is a heightened awareness of what each of those States of Being means. Guidance under Fascism is externally imposed by others while guidance in Oneness is an internal choice directed by one’s own preferences. Where Fascism is intolerant of deviation from the “norm”, Oneness celebrates diversity in every form as a unique expression and experience of Itself.
    The “oneness” of Oneness is simply a knowing that we all originate from One Source of Creative Energy that has as its only intention Love of Self. This is, admittedly, a huge understanding. If it is also a frightening and overwhelming concept to some, for all that it implies about the magnitude of our own choices, perhaps they are more comfortable creating a reality where they must stand alert for Fascists and others who would rob them of their personal power.
    In the State of Oneness, nothing can be taken from you other than that which you relinquish by failing to take responsibility for your every thought, word and deed. When that intellectual realization becomes a conscious knowing, then there are no Fascists, Communists, terrorists, or “others” by any name who hold power and direction over your life and the fulfillment of it’s unique purpose.
    We are each end-points of light shining brilliantly at the outermost tips of an infinite number of light-beams emanating from One Source of Divinely Inspired Energy.
    Not Fascists.
    
    

>     Who could not be moved, and inspired, by the news report of Ben Mathenia, age 7, who noticed his friend and classmate choking and successfully performed the Heimlich maneuver thereby saving his friend’s life? Following my amazement and glee, I got to wondering what factors came together to create that “happy ending?” I’ve come up with three.
    Knowledge. Ben was able to perform the Heimlich maneuver because someone taught it to him. Which goes to prove that we are never too young, or likely too old, to learn. Knowledge prepares us for the unexpected and, by so doing, gives us increased options when faced with unanticipated events and decisions. Even the first grade teacher who was teaching the class at the time said he would have expected Ben to call out “Mr. Miller, someone’s choking.” But Ben was equipped with the knowledge he needed to deal with what Life presented to him. And so he was able to step up.
    Presence. It turns out that Ben learned the maneuver from his father, who had used it on a co-worker. So there are two important lessons in all of this about being present. Although I do not know if Ben saw his father save a co-worker or simply listened while his father reenacted the event, but either way Ben was fully present whichever way it happened, and because he was he took in information that would later serve him and others. Secondly, because Ben is obviously fully present in his life, he was quick to notice his friend’s need and moved to do something about it. Without that presence, the story could have had a much more tragic ending.
    Compassion.  There is likely not one of us who has not walked or driven past someone who was suffering and, while perhaps expressing feelings of compassion, chose not to act on those feelings. When we pause between what we feel and what we think…thinking often turns into rationalization and justification that, in the end, inhibits us from following our innate knowing.
    Ben saw suffering, felt the struggle, had the knowledge, and cared about his friend. There was no time to lose and there was nothing to think about. Coming from a heart-centered place of caring, Ben reached out and his compassion saved a life.
    Knowledge. Presence. Compassion. These are the core ingredients of what happened in that Illinois classroom. There is much to be said about Ben Mathenia and much to be learned from him as well.
    Lee Ann Womack wrote a beautiful song that never fails to inspire me when I hear it…as has Ben’s story. I think the refrain from that song says it all…about Ben…and about what I would wish for all of us.
    “When you get the chance to sit it out or dance…I hope you dance.”
    
  

>     Yesterday I was the guest speaker at a local high school, speaking for 6 straight hours to over 500 students in the 10th grade. My daughter happens to be a Freshman at the same school so it made the occasion a little tricky. I was a guest speaker in the Health Department teaching a unit about suicide. I had tried to kill myself at age 24 and have first-hand knowledge and experience on the topic. It was an opportunity the Health teachers didn’t want to pass up…and quite frankly, neither did I.
    While I have spoken privately on the topic over the past few decades, I had never before spoken about it publicly. Having discussed it several years before with our daughter, she was remarkably accepting of my presence at her school and even supportive of it. I take more than a little pride in this fact.
    One of the things I shared with the students, and I shared only what I know to be true from having lived it, is that we all have what I refer to as “appointments in Life” at which we are expected to “show up.” Those appointments are uniquely ours, as are our talents and challenges as well. While it is not always for us to know, in advance or even ever, why we need to be in certain places at certain times, the purpose of our presence in those moments is in support of the overall and ever-expanding consciousness and growth of humanity.
    Heady stuff, I know. But it’s how I see things none-the-less.
    I have spent all the years since the attempted suicide exploring many different roads in search of Who I Really Am. Each road was a choice I made to have the experience I had. Some of those choices were productive and some not so much…but all were my choices made in pursuit of what is true for me. And while I try to find the positive meaning and highest good in all that happens, even I have had my share of wondering if all the adversity and struggle that is a necessary part of Life can be worth it.
    At yesterday’s appointment I finally got my answer.
    As I looked into the faces of those children who were looking back at me with rapt attention, I knew with certainty that everything that had happened in my life happened so that I could be there at that moment and share with them the magnificence of transcending Life’s challenges.
    I have always wanted to “serve” in some capacity and oftentimes have prayed for a way to help me do that. Typically I have expected to find a particular cause or organization to which I might dedicate my time. But standing there yesterday I realized how many ways there are to serve and just what mine looks like.
    My service is one of Hope.
    By opening up to those children and honestly sharing with them both the triumphs and tragedies of my life’s path, and mirroring for them the Beauty and Love inherent in their own, I was able to “pay forward” the gift of hope I was given when I most needed it. For in the end, we are each “way-show-ers” for one another, not only by how we live our lives but also how we choose to reflect the lives of others. Having been both affirmed and denied at various times in my own life, I know well the power, and responsibility, of both thoughts and words.
    There was no financial compensation for my appearance yesterday. But if you could have looked into that sea of faces, as I did, you would feel today as I do.
    Yesterday, I hit the Lottery of Life.
    
    
   

>     As we get past the “personality and message” phase of the Presidential race for 2008, we will inevitably come upon the need to decide not by stage presence and sound-bites but rather by depth of commitment to policies and vision. In this regard, the remaining contenders have some common ground over the issues…Social Security, the “War on Terror”, securing our borders, and health care…if not how to resolve them.
    I think the real loss coming out of Iowa was the withdrawal from the race by Senators Joe Biden of Delaware and Chris Dodd of Connecticut, not because they each have decades of governmental experience at the Federal level, but because they each understand the importance of eduction and the role that teachers play in the future of our nation. We are no better than the possibilities for tomorrow, and our children are tomorrow. But allow me take this one step further.
    We are all teachers. Each of us, by how we live our lives, is an example, not only for the children but for everyone and anyone watching. Each of us arrives into this world equipped with a unique set of tools to create a world in which we want to live. It’s a great tragedy that most of us relinquish those tools early in life then try to create something brand new with the worn-out tools of others.
    The good news is that our tools are never lost…just “pawned” until the moment we realize they can be reclaimed for a price. The price is to forgo the desire to fit, to belong, to be one of the group, to conform to the way in which others have done things. Conformity breeds complacency and a complacent person is not a creative person. A creative person is one who sees possibilities and, with passion, sets out to manifest them.
    We are all teachers by how we live our lives, not by how we talk about them. I have been trying to get my teenage daughter to stop yelling. But I have been yelling for years. In the past few days, I realized the why of why I yell and have stopped it. In those same past few days, my daughter has not yelled either. Coincidence? Maybe. But I think not. I think that the greatest and most powerful teachings are present each moment we choose between what is good for us and what is not…and consciously choose the good.
    So, my regret over the loss of Biden and Dodd is that they were close to the essential issue of not only our time but all time.
    We must value the teachers of this world much more than we do. For each of us is a teacher and it comes down to valuing self. At the heart of the matter, it matters that by and through our choices we mirror the highest good for those who are watching. The goal is not to have them become like us in any sense other than to be who they truly are and thereby teach by example as well.  
    It was psychologist Carl Jung who said,”One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude
to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw
material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul
of the child.”
    Reclaim your tools, choose wisely, be passionate and teach by example. Tomorrow is watching.

>     Several months ago I wrote a blog that included the observation “I don’t know if Barack Obama is the man but he certainly has the message.” It seems that Iowans think so too. Maybe even the majority of all voters come November 2008. But it’s early and easy to get lost in a groundswell of collective thought. So, let’s just step back for a moment and see what’s going on and what, exactly, is our part in the manner of things.
    Barack Obama is new, relatively speaking. He’s young, he’s inexperienced (untried and untested) in matters of State, having served but one term in the United States Senate. He is also of a minority background having been educated and raised (at least in his early years) both outside the United States and in a culture that now seems to be an adversary to the very ideas and ideals he seeks to command as President. Yet, his increasing popularity among American voters is undeniable. So, what’s up?
    Change is up.
    Obama is proof that Democracy, as an agent of change, works. Like his politics or not, you have to marvel at a young man, seemingly out of nowhere, who has stepped up and given seasoned political veterans like the Clinton’s a run for their money. It’s not that he doesn’t have huge financial backing of his own, or the support of important individuals, it’s the very fact that he has been able to amass that support in the face of the odds that is energizing.
    What’s also energizing is his message. His very presence speaks to diversity and his message is one of unity. Unity amidst diversity. That’s the “winning combo” if you will. And we as a nation, perhaps as a world, have begun to hunger for it. So much so that he’s the man of the hour.
    One caution.
    Democracy demands that we remain conscious and informed through our choices. It is not enough that Obama, or any candidate, looks good and has a one or two line resounding message. The stuff of leadership is daunting and few are suited for the job, although many aspire to it. It is for us to weigh the benefits of radical change (and his election would be just that) with the need for the intelligence, common sense, skill, passion, thoughtfulness and above all, patience, required to get the job done.
    After the disappointing and frustrating events of the 2000 election, we, the people, slowly began to wake up and realize that it was time to take back responsibility for our lives again. Time to be citizens of Democracy. The phenomenon of Barack Obama is part of that awakening. In the end, however, it is we who will have to make the final choice, and by so doing, live with the consequences.
    Two interesting asides.    
    First, when a close friend and adviser to Barack Obama suggested he wait until 2016 and give himself a chance to garner experience and build a political machine, his reply was “My time is now.” He has seemingly made his choice based upon some inner knowing and a sense of destiny.
    Secondly, when an Iowa caucus voter was asked by a reporter why he was voting for Obama, the man replied, “I’m not sure I want to take the chance, but I feel I must take the chance.”
    Both of those men made their choices from a core place within themselves and an instinct for the tides of change.
    Soon we will each be called upon to make our choice around this very issue. Weigh that choice with both your mind and your heart.
    That’s another winning combo.
    

>     I have a friend who has a particularly difficult time adapting to change. She has a tendency to want to keep things as they are out of fear for what the unknown will look like. She is so adept at the “Art of Holding On” that she literally retains excess fluid in her body during times when she is particularly resistant to Life’s inevitable changes. In fact, she’s so “good” at holding on, I have actually seen her body repeatedly swell as we spoke about changes she didn’t want to face. Ironically, she is in a healing profession yet cannot seem to harness her own ability to heal herself. And while she’s not alone in that regard, there’s an important lesson her example can teach us all.
    Holding on is counter-productive and not good for our bodies…as in the state of our health. Understanding how this is so goes a long way towards supporting wellness as opposed to the alternative…treating illness.
    We humans are not, by nature, skilled at change. Learning how to accept the impermanence of things throughout life is an exercise in accepting the impermanence of Life itself. Because we have such difficulty with the latter, we tend to resist, or deny, the former. This is most commonly manifested in how we try to acquire and accomplish in order to calm our fears about facing both Life and Death empty handed. And so the downside of resisting change is what my friend has come to teach.
    By holding on to where we are when Life asks that we let go and trust the ride instead, we not only impede getting where it is Life wants to take us but simultaneously overload our systems with excess energies that are better off jettisoned and left behind. Hence, my friend’s instantaneous ability to bloat rather than change. And while it looks simply like bloating on the outside, I’m pretty sure it’s doing some unseen damage on the inside as well. For every action (or inaction as it were) there is an equal and opposite reaction. That’s neither me nor my friend. That’s Newton’s Third Law of Motion.
    The cure or, actually, the preventative measure, is to trust Life and be open to what comes your way…making the best choices you can at any given moment. The simple act of choosing, of setting forth preference and by so doing giving momentum to movement, is the surest way to emotional and physical health. And remember, there are no right or wrong choices, simply different paths along a common journey that each of us is making.
    Every experience you choose to have has a way in and a way out. Think of Life as a house with many rooms. Each room has two doors. A door to enter and a door to exit. If you walk through the “in” door and decide you don’t like the room, you can always exit through the “out” door and repeat the process again at the next room.
    There are an endless series of choices and opportunities to choose in Life…if only we would make them.
    So, as with everything in Life, it’s up to you and me to see the glass half-empty, half-full, or in my friend’s case, filled with some immobilizing fluid that keeps her stuck in some endless cycle of fear.
    Since that’s a really awful thought to end on…I choose to end on something lighter and more positive.

>     They’re caucusing (whatever that means) in Iowa today and the media is holding it’s collective breath as if this were the actual election for President that will take place later in the year. While we should be concerned about the outcome in Iowa to some extent, I think our focus needs adjusting. It’s not about which one of the many potential candidates will come out on top, but rather which of them most closely reflects who we are and how we want to see ourselves mirrored. You see, the choice we make about who should lead us is simply a reflection of where we are at any given point in time.
    The process around electing representatives and leaders is in flux… as are so many of our processes and institutions at this time. As each of us realizes the extent to which we create our own reality, the corresponding realization is that we are also responsible for that reality. So, it’s no longer enough to sit back and say either 1) I’m voting for the lesser of two evils, or, 2) I’m not voting. I mean, yes, it’s certainly possible to still choose either of those options, as long as one realizes that the outcome of one’s choice will be the reality one lives.
    George Bush will likely be the last President to have been chosen by an unconscious and irresponsible electorate. Even those who voted for him find themselves in a position of having regretted it. Mainly, because he failed to follow through, to have integrity, around the things he said he would do if elected. And, because that was OK with us, he and those with whom he shares power felt emboldened to proceed in ways in which they had not only little mandate, but in ways in which they had no mandate at all. They understood that we didn’t want responsibility for the truth of our choices and would pay any price to circumvent that responsibility.
    We owe a debt of gratitude to George Bush, as we do to all of those people in our lives who, by their actions, challenge us and prod us to look more closely at who we really are and what it is we are really creating. For, in the end, it is never about them but always about us. Earlier today I heard someone say in referring to two other people, “They are ruining my life.” Well, no one has that power. Only we have the power to create from, or destroy through disregard, the life we have been gifted.
    The state of the nation, and it’s leaders, are just the macrocosm of the microcosm that is our individual lives comprised of the choices we make each day. Where we look out and see greed, apathy, self-indulgence, and aggression we must turn inward and eradicate the seeds of those outgrowths that were first planted, then cultivated, within.
    I am an optimist. I look around, listen, and am heartened by the sights and sounds of people awakening from the unconscious state of personal abdication of responsibility and choosing none-the-less, although on shaky limbs, to move into a new reality where harmony and unity are the destinations and responsibility to truth the vehicle used to get there.
    Yes, Iowa matters. But not nearly as much as we do.

>     It’s barely 48 hours into 2008 and I suspect most people have already begun, or will soon be on their way towards, breaking those “resolutions” made for the new year. Why do people feel compelled to make New Year’s resolutions anyway, knowing the unlikelihood of success? And what is it that we could successfully pursue instead?
    I think the intent behind grand proclamations of impending, personal change is a noble one. Everyone wants to better themselves and, in particular, cease behavior that’s self-defeating by replacing it with behavior that’s self-affirming. This is an admirable quest. So it isn’t that the intent is wrong, it’s that the premise of how one goes about it that’s awry.
    Behavior, and therefore patterns of behavior, are not created in a single moment through a conscious thought to, in fact, create a pattern. Rather, patterns of behavior are the result of repetitive reinforcement of a thought or thoughts that, over time, become a way of thinking that leads to a particular way of doing. We strengthen the muscle of acting, so to speak, by giving repeated thought to a particular idea.
    Self-defeating behavior is the result of giving repetitive thought to what it is we fear or do not particularly want. For, you see, the power of manifestation that we all possess by way of our thoughts lacks the quality of “judgment” and, therefore, does not distinguish between what is good for us or bad for us. It simply manifests that which we think about. And since it is very human nature to dwell upon what we lack or do not want, we keep on exercising and building that muscle of thought, getting better and better at getting more and more of what we don’t want. Hence, a self-defeating pattern of behavior is established and sustained.
    The solution is not to feed the beast, so to speak.
    The “beast”, it turns out, is every thought that’s inconsistent with who it is we really want to be or what it is we really want to achieve. So, the first step is to stop feeding the beast by not giving it the negative thoughts that continuously re-fuel the energy necessary to sustain the pattern. Once you can catch yourself mid-thought and interfere with self-defeating energies, it’s a small leap to substitute a self-affirming thought in it’s place.
    Example.
    I had a heated argument with my husband yesterday and it seemed to take on a life of it’s own to the extent that it consumed the entire day and negatively impacted everything that happened in our family. At days end, laying awake in a separate bedroom…I found myself thinking about all the things about him that made me angry. When I realized that I was “feeding the beast”…but was unable to magically shift my thinking to his positive qualities…I began to think about him as a giant bouquet of poppies and Gerber daisies.
    Now if you can just stop laughing, or suspend your disbelief long enough to hear me out, I’ll tell you why and what the net effect was.
    I like poppies and Gerber daisies. They’re some of my favorite flowers. They make me happy just to think about them. So, by thinking about them, I shifted my pattern of thought from one of anger and sadness to one of joy and gladness. I en-lightened things up. And, by so doing, not only did I stop feeding the beast of self-defeating thought, I actually lessened the energy charge around those thoughts. Without energy, things…and thoughts are things…cease to exist.
    No, it didn’t solve all the problems of the day and no, there is no happy ending (as of this writing) to the argument.
    However, what did occur was a step forward in the one-step-at-a-time guaranteed method for reversing behavioral patterns that no longer serve us. It’s not as sexy as a martini in hand at midnight avowing never to eat high cholesterol foods again in the new year…but it’s the stuff real change is made of.
    I’ll take that any day because that’s what life is really made of.
    Happy New Year.