Letting Go

>     I have a friend who has a particularly difficult time adapting to change. She has a tendency to want to keep things as they are out of fear for what the unknown will look like. She is so adept at the “Art of Holding On” that she literally retains excess fluid in her body during times when she is particularly resistant to Life’s inevitable changes. In fact, she’s so “good” at holding on, I have actually seen her body repeatedly swell as we spoke about changes she didn’t want to face. Ironically, she is in a healing profession yet cannot seem to harness her own ability to heal herself. And while she’s not alone in that regard, there’s an important lesson her example can teach us all.
    Holding on is counter-productive and not good for our bodies…as in the state of our health. Understanding how this is so goes a long way towards supporting wellness as opposed to the alternative…treating illness.
    We humans are not, by nature, skilled at change. Learning how to accept the impermanence of things throughout life is an exercise in accepting the impermanence of Life itself. Because we have such difficulty with the latter, we tend to resist, or deny, the former. This is most commonly manifested in how we try to acquire and accomplish in order to calm our fears about facing both Life and Death empty handed. And so the downside of resisting change is what my friend has come to teach.
    By holding on to where we are when Life asks that we let go and trust the ride instead, we not only impede getting where it is Life wants to take us but simultaneously overload our systems with excess energies that are better off jettisoned and left behind. Hence, my friend’s instantaneous ability to bloat rather than change. And while it looks simply like bloating on the outside, I’m pretty sure it’s doing some unseen damage on the inside as well. For every action (or inaction as it were) there is an equal and opposite reaction. That’s neither me nor my friend. That’s Newton’s Third Law of Motion.
    The cure or, actually, the preventative measure, is to trust Life and be open to what comes your way…making the best choices you can at any given moment. The simple act of choosing, of setting forth preference and by so doing giving momentum to movement, is the surest way to emotional and physical health. And remember, there are no right or wrong choices, simply different paths along a common journey that each of us is making.
    Every experience you choose to have has a way in and a way out. Think of Life as a house with many rooms. Each room has two doors. A door to enter and a door to exit. If you walk through the “in” door and decide you don’t like the room, you can always exit through the “out” door and repeat the process again at the next room.
    There are an endless series of choices and opportunities to choose in Life…if only we would make them
    So, as with everything in Life, it’s up to you and me to see the glass half-empty, half-full, or in my friend’s case, filled with some immobilizing fluid that keeps her stuck in some endless cycle of fear.
    Since that’s a really awful thought to end on…I choose to end on something lighter and more positive.


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