Archive for the ‘Values’ Category

It’s been a week since my last entry. Not something I’m proud of but I’ve been really preoccupied. I’m closing in on the trial date for my divorce (November 19th). Even though I have a lawyer, and I’m a former one myself, it doesn’t change the emotional stress or time-consuming preparation that go with it. Add to that the fact that I’m co-trustee, along with my sister, for assets managed on behalf of our 93-year-old Mother in this economy…well, watching the portfolio decline day after day is no barrel of laughs either.

So what’s a girl to do?

Well, today I read someone else’s blog about the importance of preparation and thinking in advance. Seems the theory is that if you prepare in advance in your mind for possible outcomes….you’re less likely to be surprised or caught unaware. So I tried to apply that, in hindsight, to where I find myself in the moment. I asked myself if forethought would have changed anything about these two challenges I now face, simultaneously.

Did I mention I’m also recovering from a torn tendon in my ankle…7 weeks in a cast…and now 8 weeks of physical therapy ahead of me?

Could I have planned for my divorce? Would advanced thinking have changed anything? Well, remember, I’m a former divorce lawyer so I guess, from a legal standpoint, I could have insisted upon a prenuptial agreement and that would have settled the financial aspects of it all. But I never gave it a second thought because to me, a pre-nup is pretty much like hedging your bet and saying “part of me thinks this is a losing proposition.” 

Not exactly the way I wanted to enter into marriage.

As for the whole “Could I have planned for the emotional let down and pain of parting with someone I thought would be my best friend for life?” possibility…I don’t think so. I think if you go into love full throttle forward, with no holding back, you run the risk of getting your heart stomped…but what a ride if you don’t… or until you do!  I don’t think I’d want to play it safe and miss the fullness and richness of that experience for the safety of reserving some of my feelings for a possible rainy day.

As for the trust assets?

Well, it’s only one-quarter of them that’s heading south. The other 75% are pretty solid, so in some sense there was some advanced thinking and planning or it would all be heading in that direction. As for the severity of this downturn or the longevity of it…Life is chance and there are no guarantees. If worrying about money is the most important thing we’ve got going for us… well, perhaps we’re missing the whole point of this ride called Life.

So what’s my answer if not “better advance planning?”

It’s higher values, acceptance and trust.

I think that if we devote our energy to being the best we can be and seeking the highest good for all concerned in every situation we will automatically be prepared in advance for any occurrence. That appraoch makes it possible to live fully in the Now.

If we accept that what shows up in our lives..the seemingly good, bad and the ugly…are all for us to learn from, then we have no regrets, but instead look upon every occurrencey as a potential growth experience.

If we trust that the Universe (and our higher Self) know what we need and will provide it, we can anticipate the best, instead of preparing for the worst, and in so doing create a more meaningful outcome.

I love to play with words. The first letters of higher values, acceptance and trust are HAT. 

Next time you’re in a situation such as I am in right now…lots of stress and challenge…just change HATs.  Take off the worry hat and go for the Hhighest good for all concerned while Aaccepting what is and Trusting what will be.

I just did and I feel better already.

REMEMBER to click here to download a FREE copy of my e-book, “Too  Many Secrets.”

 

I had an interesting experience this past week. I wrote a blog entry about Barack Obama that spurred a reader to comment and share his opposing view. His thoughts were intelligent and well thought out…and even though I didn’t agree with him I did reply. Which prompted him to send a second and more lengthy comment. By this time, we had exchanged enough thoughts that the distance between our positions had closed somewhat.

It was gratifying to turn what felt like an adversary into a friend.

But there was something even more important about our exchanges.  While he is voting for Barack Obama, and I still don’t know what I’ll do two days from now, he made a statement in his second exchange that stunned me. He said that he was voting for Obama with reservations; however, McCain was not an option for him and to vote for a third candidate, such as the Green Party, would effectively be like staying home.

It got me to thinking about the countless people I have spoken with and e-mailed with over the past 6 months who aren’t really voting for either Obama or McCain out of conviction, but rather simply because one or the other is the lesser of two evils. Or, if that statement is too strong, then because neither is great but they’re all we’ve got.

Which is the part that stuns me.

I suspect that if everyone who isn’t thrilled with either of these two men would actually go into the voting booth on November 4th and all vote for another choice….we’d probably elect that other choice! And so what is frustrating to the point of madness is that “they”…the powers that still be…have us believing that we only get to choose from the options they present.

Just where is that written?

I write a great deal about our awakening consciousness and the profound changes that are taking place in our world as a result of that awakening. I think this election is a perfect example of how things have been and how we can affect how they will be going forward.

John McCain effectively got the Republican nomination because he “waited his turn” within his party. Barack Obama got his nomination through clever politicking and a ton of money. Then they both said, “Take your pick. We’re the only games in town.”

Well, I don’t think so. 

Maybe for the moment, because we have awakened slowly and this one got by us. But it can and will be different from Now on…if you believe that you get to create the reality you want and do not have to settle for someone else’s version.

I know what my reader was saying when he said that voting for the Green Party candidate or some other third option would be like staying home. I know what he meant but I disagree, and I think he’s actually helped me make up my mind. I get to choose….it’s my vote…and as the old saying goes…every journey begins with one small step.

I’ve set out on a journey for real change. The kind that will create a world where personal autonomy, personal responsibility, and personal integrity are the norm. If I can’t make it happen on November 4th…I can at least take one small step on that journey by voting not for their reality but for mine.

REMEMBER to click here to download a FREE copy of my e-book, “Too Many Secrets.”

 

A Short Thought to Ponder:

We live in a very material world. Literally and figuratively. Literally, everything is made up of matter…physical matter. That’s the literal part. Figuratively, we care a great deal about how many “things” we can acquire in an effort to rate our successes as well as to subdue or distract us from the fear of mortality we all run up against…sooner or later.

Therefore, with so much emphasis on the material… things matter.

Or do they?

In reality, lasting joy, satisfaction and peace of mind are never the result of any “thing” we acquire but rather the bounty derived from those intangible experiences we have and emotional connections we establish.

It turns out what really matters is not a thing at all. What matters is no-thing.

See. Nothing matters.

REMEMBER to click here to download a copy of my FREE e-book, “Too Many Secrets.“

Catchy title, don’t you think? Bet you’re wondering what they could possibly have in common.

Well, before I go there, let me first say that I’m a life-long registered Democrat who has never voted for a Republican Presidential candidate. I have no ax to grind and no agenda here, other than to face life with eyes wide open as opposed to eyes wide shut.  To that end, Campbell Brown, CNN anchor and columnist, posted an interesting article today on CNN.com.

Ms. Brown notes that a year ago, Barack Obama publicly vowed that he would accept public financing and “work with the Republican nominee to ensure they both operated within those [spending] limits.” Problem is… Obama didn’t keep his word. Now why he didn’t keep his word is almost as important as the fact that he simply didn’t. The reason is that he quickly realized how much more money he could raise outside the constraints of the Federal Election Law rules. And since money not only talks in America, it also buys elective office, that observation wasn’t going to slip past a Harvard Law School graduate.  Hence, he reneged on his word.

So why Nixon?  Well, 19 years before Richard Nixon was elected President of the United States he had earned himself the nickname “Tricky Dick” based upon his campagin tactic against Helen Douglas for a United States Senate seat…which he won.

Now I never understood how people were shocked and surprised by Watergate and all that it encompassed, or Nixon’s erasing of the tapes, or his patent lying, when they had knowingly elected a man nicknamed “Tricky Dick.”  The only rationale I ever came up with was that despite the discernible facts, voters just didn’t want to know. And I think it’s happening again.

I’m not saying Obama is Nixon, or has his character..or lack thereof. I’m not even saying much about Obama… mainly because I don’t think this is about him.

I think it’s about Us. 

I think we need to wake up, rub the sleep from our eyes, get past the campaign slogans, and hold ourselves accountable for what is knowable vs. what we only want to know. 

And I think we’d better hurry.

There is too much at stake here to cry “poor me” after the fact if what we wind up with is exactly what is known before hand, but also exactly what we chose not to ponder too long or too hard.  As Michael Douglas said in the movie, An American President…. “Citizenship isn’t easy. You’ve got to want it bad.” 

Well, we’re still blessed with it…Citizenship, that is…admittedly within a system that’s less than perfect and which, lately, is more out of balance than is healthy. But while we still have a voice and a vote it’s our responsibility to call them as we see them…not as they tell us it is.  If you’re running on “Change” but fueling it through age-old-slight-of-hand and deceit…well, shame on me if I let you get away with it.

And shame on me if I help you get there.

Our choices aren’t great this time around. I’ll grant you that. I like Joe Biden but I’ve got to elect Obama to get to him. And I like John McCain but he is up in years and Sarah Palin worries me greatly. So does no check and balance with the prospect of a Democrat Congress and Executive Branch.

So, what to do?

I have no easy answer. Each of us has to privately come to that moment of truth on November 4th. That’s the beauty of it. My sole purpose here is to make enough noise to startle you into opening your eyes to all that’s knowable.

Once you do that, at least you can make an informed decision. Then you can take pride in knowing you  made a conscious choice… and let the chips fall where they will.

REMEMBER to click here to download a FREE copy of my e-book, “Too  Many Secrets.”

Bet you’re wondering how these two could possibly be related? Well, read on.  First of all a quick refresher. There are only two emotions. Love and Fear… so that ought to immediately go a long way toward closing the credulity gap! 

Clearly we are now being challenged by an onslaught of Fear based upon the economy and, particularly, the Wall Street related “losses” (it’s in quotes for a reason I’ll get to shortly).  However, there’s always choice (a.k.a. Free Will) around how we handle and respond to what we are experiencing. So, based upon the two emotion premise, what if you reject Fear and instead choose Love.

What happens then?

Well, I like to think of the letters in the word Love as standing for “Living Oneness Valuing Everything.” With that in mind, the first realization is that money is not all there is to value. Or, at least, not all we should value. For example, there’s health, friendship, family, laughter, the capacity to be joyful, the beauty of Nature, a good book… just to name a few. So, when you shift from worrying about all the money the stock market has “lost”…you open the portal to gratitude. 

Yes, gratitude.

Just put the money aside for one minute and jot down all that you have to be grateful for in your life right now. This instant. Can you get a glass of fresh, clean water to drink if you’re thirsty? Swallow if you’re hungry? Call a friend if you’re lonely? Take a walk without pain? Laugh? Because if you get back all the money you’ve “lost” or expect to “lose” in the present economy all of it combined will not be able to buy you any of those.

This is Valuing Everything.

As for Living Oneness, well, the world is out of balance. Seriously out of balance.  There are some people with astronomical wealth and opportunity while others are, quite literally, starving to death or being perversely tortured to death with no hope for relief… let alone change.  This condition is unnatural in the purest sense of the word.  Nature, left to It’s own devices, strikes a balance…seeks harmony…perpetually returns to a state of equilibrium. Nature does not tolerate perversion…at least not for very long.

This state of equilibrium… that’s where we’re now headed. That’s what the “losses” on Wall Street represent: a rejection of perversion and a return to balance and harmony.

Now, to the quotation marks.  We’re not “losing” anything.

We’re re-aligning with what matters. We’re ending one direction and heading in another. We’re re-prioritizing. We’re gaining clarity. We’re grasping the significance of what we are to One Another. We’re embarking on Living Oneness.

So, there it is. Love and Wall Street.  As always, you choose.

This is an update on my divorce, although I know you didn’t ask for it.  It just happens that I’ve gained so many valuable lessons through the process and recently, perhaps the most profound. So, I want to share it with you. After all, that’s why we’re all here together. To share the wisdom.

Last Friday I was in Court on what’s called an Enforcement Motion. What that means is that there was a prior Court Order that my husband was not abiding by. No matter how many attempts my lawyer or I made to try and avoid it, the filing of the Motion was ultimately necessary as my husband simply would not begin to see it our way.

As a former practicing divorce lawyer, I have no illusions about what can happen once you’re in a courtroom. It’s all subject to the particular judge who’s hearing the case and what his or her intelligence level is as well as their particular personality quirks. Justice is often a futile quest. And, we had been in Court once before on an Enforcement Motion and the white male judge had sort or “played fast and loose” with the facts. This time we were in front of a relatively new, female African-American judge and she was good. She “got it” and understood right from the beginning that my husband simply thinks he can ignore Court Orders.

The Judge allowed him to speak and to ask or state whatever he wanted in his defense, but when all was said and done she was unimpressed with his delivery and obviously disgusted with his disrespect for the legal system. She told him, in so many words, what he was going to do from that moment on and, more than once, “cut him down to size” for lack of a more sophisticated description.

But here’s the thing.

I don’t think of myself as a human being but rather as a spiritual being having a human experience. I struggle always to see the highest good in myself and others and to challenge myself to be better than I was yesterday. So what happened to me in that courtroom was not so much a surprise as deep gratitude for the grace to be able to experience victory and compassion simultaneously.

While I was experiencing the satisfaction of knowing that the “system” was finally doing the job it was intended to do by granting my Motion (while he was also assessed my legal fees for having to bring it) I was also pained that the man I love, but with whom I cannot seem to live, was being publicly shamed in this way. I actually hurt for him. I was the victor yet I was more taken with his suffering than my victory.  As we left the Courtroom, I left the Courthouse immediately, directing my lawyer to tidy-up the loose ends with my husband.  When I got into my car I sat there wondering why I had walked out so quickly instead of savoring the moment. The answer was that didn’t want to subject him to having to look into my eyes after what he had just been through. It was compassion that caused me to leave.

I learned two important lessons this past Friday.

The first is how Tibetans, imprisoned and tortured by the Chinese, can actually pray for their captors enlightenment while they are being beaten by those captors.

The second is that, as I have often heard stated in Buddhism, Compassion is the highest form of Love.

I wrote a short note to my husband since the hearing on Friday to share this with him but he has been  non-responsive. I understand. He too, is a spiritual being having a human experience…doing the best he can with what he’s learned thus far.

Friday proves that every day is a new opportunity for enlightenment.

REMEMBER to click here to download a FREE copy my e-book, “Too Many Secrets”

Well, I’ve done it again and it’s worked…again.

For the past two weeks I have pretty much disengaged myself from any media sources that promote bad news or fear.  Now, practically speaking, this means almost all media sources… since bad news and fear are still being hotly marketed, although I think the powers that be are dragging their feet somewhat in perceiving the shift in consciousness that’s taking place.

Most of us have moved, or are moving, beyond the need or the desire to be manipulated by fear. Awakening from that long sleep, we are becoming more discriminating in what we allow ourselves to be exposed to and where we place our own thoughts.  As I’ve always said, “Thoughts are things.”  Once you have one, you’ve can pretty much rest assured that you’ve now manifested it in some way at some future point in time. That’s what all the “hoopla” was over the DVD “The Secret.”  It set forth the underlying principal that what you think about you draw to you…for better or worse. It’s true. And when you begin to take that principal to heart and live it…well, you can actually experience the difference between what I call “default thinking” and “deliberate creating.” 

In both methods you get back what it is you have placed your thoughts upon. But in default thinking you get back a whole lot more of what you don’t want than what you do. That’s because of two reasons.

    1. Most people spend their thought energy in either the past or the future…regretting or worrying respectively. With most of your thoughts in regret or worry…you create, by default, more regret and worry.

    2. When you abandon your present moment to thoughts of past or future, you absorb, like a sponge, what it is that’s occurring in the present moment.  Given the world we live in that’s more often than not fear-based conversations and news.  Taking in fear-based thinking in the present moment crates more fear in your future.  

On the other hand, in deliberate creating, you pay attention to what you are thinking and when your thoughts don’t align with your intention..what it is you want to create in your life…you change those thoughts while also being vigilant about eliminating externally generated messages that don’t support what it is you want.

Which is why for the past two weeks I have eliminated the news. I saw it coming. All the fear and panic around the economy. I simply wasn’t going to consciously set myself up for being part of the problem by further feeding the fear. I deliberately created two weeks where there was no bad economic news.

And you know what?  I didn’t miss a thing.

In fact, I stayed off the emotional roller coaster ride of the market’s ups and downs. I missed all the Doomsdayers and analysts and poll takers who offer nothing in the way of constructive thinking but loads in the way of fear. Instead I spent the time I would have been creating by default watercolor painting, reading positively affirming books, practicing piano, writing bogs, helping friends and building a future more consistent with how I choose to live my life.

When I write blogs such as this one I always include the disclaimer that I am not a Pollyanna nor do I have my head in the sand. I’m not denying the reality that “times they are a changing”…I simply use my Free Will to decide what that change looks like to me…and in so doing use my thoughts to support the highest good rather than the lowest common denominator. When the time comes to deal with the change, when it’s actually in front of me, I will. In the meantime, there’s just no point in worring about it.

So, today, take control of your life by way of your thinking and avoid the avoidable. No one says you have to watch or listen or read about what’s being sold to you. Tune it out, turn it off, and place your thoughts where you want them to be.

I promise you that in your “absence”…you will not have missed a thing that matters.

 

Well, right from the start let me warn you this is not about what you think it’s about. And, its a difficult entry to write because I have to walk a fine line between what I believe to be true for all and what will surely offend some. This is about relationships, primarily relationships between women and men, although in the end it pertains to all relationships.

It’s my contention that “trade unions”, as that phrase applies to relationships, is an oxymoron.  When “trade” is the basis for any relationship what you have is an exchange. You each have something the other wants, needs or lacks and so you trade or exchange that which you have for that which you desire. What you cannot have when you trade or exchange is Union. And so we come to the fundamental flaw that can be found in most male-female relationships…and what I think is the cause for divorce.

Women trade wisdom for protection.  Men trade autonomy for power.

This is where I begin to offend.

Women are inherently more wise than men. Now don’t get all huffy…yet. I didn’t say they were more intelligent or smarter. I said they were wiser. By that I mean that women, being inherently more comfortable and connected to their intuitive selves and the rhythms of the natural world, have a heightened ability to know… by way of their innate sensitivity… some of the essential truths of Life.  But we have been conditioned and frightened for thousands of years (and perhaps longer) into believing the illusion that success in the material world is governed by physical prowess rather than knowing. Men are, generally speaking, physically stronger. So, we trade our sensitivity,our inherent knowing, for protection.  This started as physical protection from the elements and enemies but over time has evolved (or de-volved) to become, sadly, the way women routinely abdicate our true power in every area of our lives to men who have all too willingly taken it up and misused it.

Men are beings who inherently crave autonomy. They want to “be their own person”…make their own decisions…succeed at and acquire whatever they desire. But their ability to do this is, generally speaking, somewhat limited to the more basic aspects of physical reality. They build, they compete, they battle…they are consummately “physical” beings.  What they ultimately aspire to, however, is prevailing…winning…being the “top dog”…having power over others so as to answer to no one but themselves. In a word, autonomy. Long ago men looked at women and saw the true power that men desired. So, they set out to acquire it by making the physical world a scary and dangerous place to reside…a place where protection is required.

So, women traded their wisdom (true power) in the hope of obtaining protection while men traded their autonomy in the hope of obtaining power.  Hence, an exchange but not a union. And when you trade something in the belief that you are getting what it is you want by that trade, and over time it turns out that you don’t get it…well, you feel cheated and oftentimes very hostile towards the other trader.

The irony is that women wind up feeling imprisoned, not safe at all. They become emotionally enslaved to a system that devalues and denies the existence of their greatest gift…the gift of knowing. And men wind up giving up their autonomy to become enslaved to women who promised to exchange their power for protection, when what was really exchanged was the cessation of using their knowing for the promise of protection. Men only think that by such a deal can they obtain true power. What they actually end up with is trying to replicate true power through force which has gotten us where we are today…socially and globally speaking.

Both men and women eventually end up disappointed and betrayed in such a bargain.

The answer to this age-old problem is rather simple…although it will take great courage to move beyond where we are at this moment. 

Women must reclaim their Creator-given gift of wisdom by valuing and exercising  the intuitive aspect of themselves rather than entering into an artificial bargain whereby they relinquish it.  Connecting to natural wisdom is the greatest protection known.

Men must be willing to take on all of the responsibilities of autonomy,  including compassion, respect and equality in relation to all forms of life…so that they can experience and know true power by so doing.

Only when women own their power and men own their autonomy can the two consciously and willingly give up trading “need for need” and instead enter into Union, the desire that beats endlessly in the hearts of each of them.

REMEMBER to click here to download a copy of my FREE e-book, “Too Many Secrets.”

I blame Aristotle.  He’s the one who laid the groundwork two thousand or so years ago for thinking of reality in terms of duality. He told us things were either “A or not A.” In linear, dualistic thinking, there’s no possibility that anything other than one of two possible conditions or outcomes exist. And things tend to move between the two.. leaving, literally, no other options. So, things are good or they are not good. And if they are not good, well…take the economy as we speak.

The economy, as evidenced by the stock market and the standard of living, was booming. In Aristotle’s world that was good. Now, the DOW has plummeted and the banks may need rescuing so that must now be bad. Hence, all the worry and yes, even panic.

Like I said, I blame Aristotle.

We are two thousand years smarter than when he saw all that he was able to see from where he was standing. Now, thanks to Einstein, quantum physics and a whole host of other intuitive and intelligent women and men, we know that things are hardly what they appear, that what we think we see determines what we see, depending on your vantage point, two observers will see things differently, and finally, and perhaps most importantly, nothing is static…everything is constantly in motion. Which is why Aristotle really set us off on the wrong track because if everything is constantly in motion, then nothing is ever “A or not A” but some combination or variation of both. Which is why the “good” economy was great for some, good for others, and difficult for the rest. But more importantly, it’s why the present economy, that was perceived as good, is not Now bad.

The more accurate representation is the Eastern symbol for Yin and Yang. It is a circle with two sections delineated with one black and one white.  Aha! you say. There it is. Aristotle’s “A or not.” Well, not even close. Because within the white portion of the Yin is a black circle and within the black portion of the Yang is a white circle. Both hold the seeds of the other and both are simultaneously what they are and what they are not.

While things were seemingly great with the economy it held the seeds of the change we are Now experiencing.  And as we go through this transition, no matter how apparently difficult, it holds the seeds of a time when we will have passed through this difficulty. It’s all an endless circle…with every part holding the potential for the emergence of every other part.

Which is where the saying “It’s not what happens to you it’s how you handle it” comes from.

Change is inevitable yet it’s what we resist most in our lives. We like to know who and what we can count on…who and what are reliable. But it would serve us best to accept that since everything is in motion, it would make much more sense for us to remain fluid in our thinking as well so that we can align with rather than resist the inevitable.

The economy and the stock market are never up or down. They are constantly in flux…as are we. It is only the way we choose to look at things that causes us to become worrisome and fearful when that movement accelerates.

Let’s think of the current economic transition as if we are going through a tunnel rather than falling down a bottomless well.  By so doing, we can acknowledge the temporary diminished visibility and know that at the other end will be an expanded vista with greater light. Not to mention that without a little darkness…how would we ever appreciate the light?

I’m not a Pollyanna. I know transition and change are challenging.  But if we can understand that Aristotle was limited in his view and that we have relied upon his thinking for way too long, perhaps we can provide more flexibility and less suffering to the challenges we are Now being asked to meet.

I’d like to introduce you to Barney.

Barney is my cat. He’s about 17 years old (he was a stray so I can’t be sure). Barney is unique, and I dare say, amazing, because about 7 years ago he had what his Vet likes to refer to as a “vestibular event.”  You and I would say he had a seizure or, perhaps, a stroke. Having survived it, he became a different cat. I say that because before the seizure he was very aggressive and territorial. Following the event, he became very warm and friendly. He was also left lame in one leg and slightly hearing and sight impaired. And then arthritis set in as well, not too long after all of that.

To sum things up, Barney was a friendly mess.

However, not to let a few adjustments to living life deter him, Barney simply went on his merry way (well, hobbling along his way would be more accurate) as if nothing of significance had occurred. We came to refer to him as “RoboCat” since defying all odds, he lived on, year after year, with his debilitating infirmities and limitations…obvious to everyone, apparently, except Barney. He never stopped stalking squirrels or chipmunks as if he were high on stealth..and occasionally and miraculously..actually caught something (although I always suspected whatever it was must have been more infirm than he was to have lost a battle to Barney).

I really thought he was indestructible, until recently. The arthritis has over taken him, as has dementia, and he pretty much moves from location to location…meowing all the while as he goes…only to “fall down” at a new resting place, since gracefully laying down in cat-like fashion is no longer an option for him. So, in the past few days I made my peace with the need to euthanize him and scheduled the appointment for this morning. Just before we left the house, I let him out back for one last walk around the yard and spotted him stalking, then “chasing”, in unique Barney fashion, a squirrel.

On the way to the Vet’s office, he meowed constantly and at times it actually sounded like “No.” He kept trying to put his paws through the front door of the cage while I drove, cried and tried to comfort his apparent anxiety. Sitting in the waiting room, I was saying my “final” goodbye (for at least the 5th time in the past 24 hours) when the technician opened the exam door and called us in.  The Vet took him out of the cage and set him on the floor as I cried. Barney, full of Life I had not seen in awhile, just kept walking around the exam room looking for a way out. It was obvious from his gait that he is in pain. It was also rather obvious that he is not looking to die. Watching him, I began to think he really was saying “No” on the ride there.

After conferring with the Vet, we decided to try a new pain medication which would, in a day or so, indicate if he was getting relief from the debilitating arthritis.  If yes, we agreed that relieved of pain, he could have some time left with a better quality of life. 

So I dried my eyes and Barney and I came home.

Later this afternoon a friend called to say that her father is dying. Well, he appears to be dying based upon his diagnosis and prognosis. And recently, he was not conscious or communicative for a couple of days and she thought the end had come. But then, he began talking again and seemed rather put out at hearing that people were thinking and saying that he was dying.

So the moral of this story is: Who Knows?

The day may come when I have no doubts left that Barney is suffering so that to keep him here is animal cruelty. And even if the pain medication works, he will still have the dementia and I will still have to sometimes remind him that the wall is not a door and gently steer him in the right direction.

But here’s the thing. Barney is RoboCat and as long as he has the Will to live in him…who am I to say that some arthritis and a little confusion are grounds for thinking and acting otherwise. If caring for him is inconvenient for me, well…I hope someday someone doesn’t mind a little inconvenience if it’s me who has arthritis and more than a little confusion.

I’m sure my friend feels exactly the same way about her father.

Love isn’t limited to certain species.

Remember to click here to download my FREE e-book, “Too Many Secrets.”