There will be a lot of trash written about Sandra Bullock’s apparent embarrassment by her allegedly unfaithful husband. I’d like to take higher ground and use her pain to heal.
What I want to heal is the tendency for so many women to think that someone other than themselves, who through their own inner strength and guidance, got them where they are. Most women understood exactly what Ms. Bullock was doing when, upon receiving the Oscar, she thanked her husband for “watching her back.”
We women yearn for that feeling. To know that when we’re tired or have done the work of two…or more…people, that “he” will there to pick up the mantle. That no harm will come if we are one day too tired to be so alert and competent. I think such a desire must have its roots in the fabled knight on the white horse that has been in our collective consciousness for several thousand years.
The problem is that fables are fictions and need to be viewed in that light.
In addition, personal power is tricky business. It resides within us… its not bestowed from someone or something outside of ourselves. And when you give it away, as Sandra Bullock did in accepting the Oscar, someone can take it with them when they leave. Or even before… as her allegedly unfaithful husband has now seemingly done.
Sandra Bullock, and all of us, don’t achieve excellence because someone else makes it possible. We achieve it through internal fortitude, God-given gifts, and an unwavering passion to get where we want go. And while its nice to know that others along the way made contributions to our efforts, its dangerous to think that anyone other than God “watches our back.”
>Whether, in this particular instance, the facts as alleged turnout to be
true or not, the prototype of a woman feeling unworthy of claiming the
fullness of her own power, but instead bestowing it upon another less
worthy who earned it not, is a valid one.
We are all “at risk” in this journey called Life. Feelings of security and protection, however, come only from a deeply held knowing that we are loved and guided always by that which created us. Such love and guidance is never conditional and, consequently, is unshakable by anything or anyone… not least of all a woman whose body is adorned like a billboard hawking merchandise.
Our standard creates our experience. Sandra Bullock is a gifted actress who has chosen roles using great discretion and skill. Now, hopefully, she will choose her men the same way and change her experience.
Its a lesson for many women and advice worth considering.