Walking My Talk

>   There are plenty of examples about famous, creative and influencial people who, although inspiring millions through their teachings, had difficulty in their own personal lives in “walking” their talk.” I can deeply empathize and, perhaps, this entry is my own mea culpa for failing to do so.
    Just two days ago I wrote an entry entitled “Presence, Patience and Trust” that extolled the benefits of accepting Life as It shows up and trusting in the goodness of not only all that is but also all that will be as a result. So, in the past 24 hours, as the threads on my emotional rope wore thin and I repeatedly lost my temper…not to mention my presence, patience and trust…I feel somewhat hypocritical.
    Hence, this mea culpa.
    But when I look up the meaning and origin of the phrase “mea culpa” (I’m Jewish so I needed some clarification here) I find that it refers to an action wherein “the individual recognizes his or her flaws before God.” So I’m not quite certain this is, in fact a mea culpa. First, I’m not owning up before God, just my readers. And secondly, I don’t really see my behavior as a “flaw” but more as another opportunity to grow towards my highest good as a spiritual being along the path of having a human experience. If I accept myself as “flawed” then I imply that I, and ultimately others, are somehow “bad.” That’s a slilppery slope I’d rather not go down since, historically, it seems to end at “original sin”…a concept I do not sanction.
    So in order to not get stuck in feeling badly about myself for not having chosen my highest good, I think there’s an analogy that helps me approach the moment in a more positive way.
    It’s the principal that we give charity in order to make room for more abundance to flow into us which, in turn, allows us to give even more charity. Without “making room” so to speak for “more… it’s impossible to fill up a vessel already full.
    In the case of my losing my temper, since all matter is just energy of varying frequencies, there may just be some “stored” or “negative’ energy in me that needed to be discharged, or emptied, in order to make room for more positive energy that would serve me better in achieving my highest good. Therefore I look at that “discharge” of stored up energy I exhibited as a necessary clearing in order to be open to receiving that which I need.  Once cleared of the debilitating, stored-up energy, I am helping myself get clearer and clearer about Who I Want To Be and what types of experiences do not support that vision.  After all, now that it’s “out of me” I can clearly see that neither it, not the circumstances that prompted it, are consistent with my vision of myself.
    Now, like the vessel that has room for abundance to flow into it…I am cleared to refill the vessel that is Me with energy that is more supportive of Who I Am.
    Some of you may say this has all been an exercise in justification for inappropriate behavior. But I would respond to such a charge by saying that all behavior labeled “inappropriate” is performed by someone who has not yet embraced their inherent divinity and is struggling to find the means to so.
    Since at one time or another we’ve each been there…let’s slide one another, and especially ourselves, a little compassion and understanding.
    Now that would be the highest good for all concerned.

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