Critic's Choice

>     I received an interesting comment to Gold Post It today. It was from a man who had “bookmarked” my blog and had apparently been reading it daily. He said that he had done so because of my “pithy” style of writing. However, he was quite put off by a recent blog in which I made the observation that my soon-to-be-ex-husband doesn’t have a friend.
    The reader shared with me his opinion that of course, “everyone has a friend” so I must therefore be bitter. He further concluded that my bitterness is coloring my perception and causing me to be “out of touch.”  He informed me that he is removing the bookmark and plans never to read my blog again.
    Wow. I must have touched a nerve.
    However, as with every other topic that I write about, I will try and find the highest good for all concerned in this occurrence as well.
    First, his reaction.
    I think that whenever we feel the need to make someone or something either all “good” or all “bad”…well, apart from the separation we cause by “judging”…there’s the whole issue of denying that there’s anything at all to be gained or learned…even in the face of some aspects that may not be to our liking.
    I prefer to take the Zen approach that the Buddha could be your grandmother cooking chicken soup at the stove…so be aware because you never know where help, or wisdom, may come from.
    Obviously this reader has, until recently, enjoyed the way I see things, or at least the way I express myself in relating how I see things. So maybe my substance, or perhaps my style, caused him to think in a new way or in a way that enlivened him.
    But not any more.
    Simply because he read an observation of mine with which he disagrees he needs to make me “wrong”, “bitter” and “out of touch.” There is no room in his reality for others with whom he disagrees. Certainly his choice to make.
    I suspect it can get mighty lonely in there.
    As for my observation about my husband. I stand by it’s accuracy. I have 16 years of first-hand experience to back it up. But here’s the thing. I wasn’t judging him.
    The observation was made in the context of a blog about the priceless benefit of surrounding ourselves with friends whose values and behavior support the highest good in us. The observation about my husband was simply in stark contrast to the crux of the story which was about the my daughter’s much improved behavior as a result of having spent time with some pretty wonderful kids.
    So, I would like to thank the man who e-mailed me his comments for giving me this opportunity to find higher meaning in a personal attack.  Unfortunately, he’ll never get to experience my gratitude as I’ve been banished from his reality.
    I guess this is what is meant by the adage “be careful not to throw the baby out with the bath water.”

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