Fear Factor

>Fear has many faces, especially in personal relationships. Lately, I’ve been blessed by being able to unmask two of them and I ‘d like to share with you what I uncovered. As my regular readers know I am going through a divorce. Personally, I believe that every experience we have is filled with opportunities to learn important Life lessons. This divorce is no exception.
    What I’ve observed is that my husband and I each have our own brand of Fear that gets in the way of deeply connecting. My particular brand is the need to be right. At the end of the day, so to speak, or the end of a discussion…I have a tendency to make judgments and then to justify those judgments by scoring points in the “see I was right” category. When someone has to “win” there is no room for anyone else at the podium. When there’s no room for anyone else, you’re in it alone.
    I’m afraid to be wrong.
    Not exactly the point of entering into a relationship now, is it?
    My husband, on the other hand, simply cannot see the “moment” through to it’s natural conclusion…however long that moment may be. He only interacts to his pre-set comfort level and, past that point, he’s gone. Sometimes literally…but usually just emotionally.
    He’s afraid of intimacy.
    Not exactly the other point of entering into a relationship, either.
    So you’re thinking,”No wonder they’re getting divorced!” And perhaps you’re correct. But there’s a bigger issue here that goes beyond our relationship.
    It’s the willingness to embrace Life, and others, without pre-conditions, without judgment, and with a commitment to the integrity of the experience without having to control what that looks like or how long it takes.
    I was at the book store recently and observed that there are so many books being published on how to live in the moment, in the Now, that one can hardly keep up. But there’s a reason for this message spilling forth from almost ever direction. I think the single most important “discovery” of our time is the knowledge…wisdom, actually…that being fully present in the moment, and in who you are, while allowing others to do the same is the key to a fulfilling Life as well as to fulfilling your Life’s purpose.
    If there is one lesson I will begin the next phase of my life with, securely embedded in my heart, it is this knowing that judgment and control are two of the faces of Fear and when unmasked, reveal a more complete portrait of what Love looks like.
    I wish us both blessings on our continuing journeys…and I know you do as well.

P.S.   Remember to click here to download my FREE e-book “TOO MANY SECRETS”

Did you like this? Share it:

Comments are closed.