Archive for the ‘Values’ Category

>What a delight to open the CNN homepage yesterday and see the smiling faces of two Indonesian young men holding up a sign that read “War Cannot Stop Football.” They were attending the Asian Cup football/soccer finals yet bearing a message with much deeper and broader possibilities than appeared at first read.
   Sure, it’s a welcome change to see a photo of someone or something other than a terrorist or tragedy or actor being arrested. And sure, it’s great to know that the Iraqi’s, who won the cup, were able to temporarily transcend the hell they’ve been living. 
   However, there are two more important points to be made here.
   First, for over a year on radio, and now five days a week on this blog, I make a point of bringing you good news with the intention of uplifting your spirit and providing hope in a world that often times seems bent on destroying it. I deeply believe that what we intend, think about, talk about, look at, and participate in are the ingredients that, literally, make up our lives.  
   I can’t speak for you, but when I opened up that homepage and saw the smiling faces on those young men holding that banner, I felt great. It actually made me smile. I felt hopeful, too. Not just for football, but for mankind.
   Secondly, we so often dismiss the young and the elderly, thinking the former have not yet much wisdom and the latter past their usefulness.  But it’s youth who hold that idealism and sense of limitless possibility and whose passion and positivity are contagious. It’s the aged who have lived enough life to see glimpses of the end of that life, who can provide us the greatest perspective for what really matters. 
   What really matters is to combine the hopefulness and positivity of youth with the perspective and wisdom of age in order to prioritize our thoughts and actions in ways that support hope, peace and joy.
   I know that it’s possible to someday open up CNN’s home page and see two children holding a banner that will say, “War Cannot Stop Peace.”
   What a smile that will be. For all of us. And by the way, there’s a “Winner’s Cup” for that achievement as well.
   It’s called Heaven on Earth.

      Former Vice-President Al Gore is going to spend this weekend hosting a globally televised Live Earth concert to try and heighten our awareness of the catastrophic dangers of global warming.
      His son, Al Gore III, has spent the past week receiving national media attention that should raise our awareness of the catastrophic dangers of the widespread use of prescription drugs.
      Recently, I was speaking with a neighbor in her mid-30’s with two young children.  My neighbor is quite social and has many friends in her age group, all with young children. During our conversation about the challenges and pressures of trying to raise children today, she casually mentioned that “90% of my friends are on anti-depressants.”
      This epidemic of prescription drug use and mis-use, as I see it, is not restricted to the young, although Gore’s arrest for marijuana use and illegal possession of prescription drugs is playing in the press and on the Internet that way.      
      The disregard with which prescription drugs are manufactured and sold, the abandon with which they are written, and the ease with which they are consumed are all national problems that transcend the generational divide. The elderly are over-medicated, the boomers are over-medicated, the X-ers are over-medicated, and it seems our school age children are as well.
      There are probably many ways to approach solving this problem. Most require a lot of time, a lot of money and a lot of political organization and power.  The fastest, least expensive and most empowering way, however, is for every one of us to take charge of our lives, our lifestyles, and our life choices.
      It’s not about locking up the pharmaceutical executives or locking up the medicine cabinet. Actions such as these just allow each of us to abdicate our part and our power.    
      Nancy Reagan was half right. “Just Say No” has to start with accepting personal responsibility and rejecting the quick fix of prescription drugs. It also means saying no to our doctors when they reach for the prescription pad.  It means not watching every third commercial on TV touting the latest cure-all for whatever ails us.  It means refusing to continue to live in ways that stress us out despite the fact that we know we’re doing it. It means adjusting our lifestyles to a more realistic pace. It means adjusting our diets to support wellness rather than expediency.      
      Be kind to yourself. Start small.
      Next time you have something as simple as a headache, reach for a yoga mat instead of an Excedrin.  If that’s too mystical and “out there” for you then just stop what you’re doing, get a pen and paper,  re-evaluate your day and identify where the headache came from. Most illness really does originate with dis-ease.  A lack of ease in your life born of choices that do not support a state of continued wellness and continued growth.
      Whichever route you choose, a yoga mat, pencil and paper, or just deep breathing…you’ll begin to change your pattern. This will be a new beginning and a good thing.
      More importantly, the children are watching.

>Having just celebrated Independence Day, I got to thinking about…you guessed it…independence!  The typical way we tend to think about it is in a political or societal context. But what I’ve been thinking about is independence of thought.
      We are so quick to take on the perceptions and definitions of those who came before us even though doing so stifles our own creative thinking. From our earliest childhood all the way through adulthood, we take on the “shoulds” and “coulds” and “possibles” and “impossibles” of our parents, our friends, and our leaders.  These automatic acceptances of other people’s perceptions and values become fixed in our minds and cause us to live a reality not of our own making.
      Where is that more obvious than in our systems of education…be they public or private?  Our 14 year old daughter is a very bright child academically. More importantly, she is a remarkably creative individual. She has attended both private and public schools. She frequently “sees” issues differently than most and sometimes tends to apply the English language with what I see as a “twist” of her own. When this happens I tend to correct her.  
      But where is it written that I’m correct? After all, isn’t her vision and her use of language just as valid as mine?  And where did mine come from anyway?  It’s likely I inherited them from those who came before me since it was only in adulthood that I really gained the confidence to begin to see and express things my own unique way in my own authentic voice.
      I’m not just talking about concrete matters like writing a book report or solving a math problem.  Even when it comes to spirituality and religion…don’t we humble ourselves before the dogma we’re taught or the mystic who came before us? 
   I heard a great line the other day. It went like this. “We’re each supposed to be creators, not regurgitators!”
   Think about that.
   Each of us is “created in the image and likeness of God.” What is God’s greatest and most profound act? Creation! If we each have but a smidgen of that capability, and I believe we do, then isn’t it incumbent upon us to use it by thinking and acting creatively?  What does that mean if not to see the world with fresh eyes, hear it’s sounds with new ears, and speak it’s words in ways that uplift and bring new meaning to our existence.
   I’m not much of an advocate of “No Child Left Behind” because it’s no different than trying to get everyone universal health care in a system that’s already broken instead of changing the system…and the approach…from treating sickness to fostering wellness.  
   An educational system that perpetuates the regurgitation of someone else’s definitions and perceptions is a system lacking creativity. The absence of creativity, in my view, is the absence of all that is at the core of this life.
   But this is just my way of seeing things. 
   If you disagree and see them differently…Hooray!
   Now there’s a reason to celebrate Independence Day.    

>I’m not inclined to be among the Paris Hilton media watchers, so I’m admittedly weak on the details of this saga. I do, however, know the big picture and I think it can be instructive for each of us, Paris Hilton included. 
      It all hinges on uncovering the higher truth, which is, that sometimes knowing Who You Really Are requires experiencing who you really are not.
      I think certain assumptions are fair. Paris comes from a wealthy, educated family and was blessed with the ability and opportunity to use her life and her talents in almost any way she could imagine. She appears to have made some less than wise choices thus far, and the latest one has been the most humbling. 
      I hope.  
      You see, when we get too far from our own center, from that place that holds our highest potential for growth, it can get very painful.  And while finding out Who You Really Are need not be painful, for some of us the pain can be a gift used wisely. 
      Even if you don’t know what you want, or aren’t even sure of who you are, having an experience that goes beyond the limits of what you do want to experience can be the fastest was to get those answers. Knowing where those boundaries are can help turn you in a more productive direction for getting to where or who you want to be. 
      Bringing meaning to negative experiences and applying that meaning in a way that positively impacts your life means that in the end, there are really no bad experiences. Just experiences. It’s where the saying comes from, “It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you handle it.”
      I believe in synchronicity. So, this week I’ve had the opportunity to live the words I am typing.
      Two days ago I had a really stressful day, physically and emotionally. My husband came home from work and, seeing my fatigue, suggested we go out to dinner and asked me where I wanted to go. Grateful for his suggestion, I thought that in return I would name a nearby bar/restaurant were I knew he could get what he would like…a roast beef sandwich and a beer.  Now, I’m a non-alcoholic drinking, vegetarian so my choices were going to be slim to none…but still.  
      When we arrived at the restaurant we walked in through the bar entrance.    
    It’s probably been 25 years since I was in a place like that and for good reason. Everything about the environment makes me uncomfortable. Sensing this, I ignored my feelings and pressed on. We were seated, ate dinner, and left. The whole experienced went on to be painful for two reasons.

      1.   I forgot to honor Who I Really Am and it negatively effected everything from the time we arrived until long after we left.

      2.   Once there, I didn’t handle it all very well.

      The good news is that I can look back at it and apply the meaning I found to positively affect my future. For sure, I’ll have another chance. Life works that way until you get it right.
    Next time I’m asked where I want to go, I’ll make sure it’s some place I really want to go. And next time I find myself in a situation that is uncomfortable, I will do what it takes to alleviate my discomfort rather than inflict it on another.
      The good news is that my husband and I have survived worse and always gone on to prosper.
      I wish the same for Paris.

>     Everything runs in cycles. There are our biological body cycles, called circadian rhythms, the cycle of global weather patterns, even the cycle of life and death. There is also the cycle of violence. It seems that one has come around again. Gaza is on fire.  
   Like all cycles, the cycle of violence comes and goes…meaning it periodically escalates then de-escalates. And like fire, we can fan it or starve it of the vital elements it needs to maintain it’s destructive force.  The media loves to fan fires. So they are at it again.
   I am not saying that what’s happening in Gaza isn’t important. I’m a Jew and as such, care deeply about Israel and the safety of its inhabitants. I am also a human, and care deeply about the fate of us all. 
   What I know for sure is that feeding hate and giving it attention is no different than fanning the flame. It gives the destructive force power. It feeds the beast.
   History teaches many lessons so we get to pick the one’s we want to learn from.  While I hear many commentators likening Iran and Ahmadinejad and Hamas to Hitler and his intended move across Europe in a quest for extinction of some and domination over others, I prefer to look back and see that in at least 5000 years, aggression and violence haven’t solved anything. While they may produce a temporary cessation of conflict in one part of the world, because we’re all one, sooner or later the lessons taught by using force in one place surface elsewhere to be applied by someone else. And so on and so on. For 5000 years.
   Because we can pick and choose our lessons from history, and have the freedom of choice to participate in co-creating our own, I think we’d be best served to try a different approach.  
   I have an example of one I’d like to suggest.  
   My husband and I are very different. Not just in personality, but in our social and religious backgrounds. We also love one another. Periodically, those differences cause us to have a few recurring arguments over the same topics. We each have a tendency to dig in and become more rooted in our position until it escalates through anger all the way to cold silence. We eventually get past it and move on, although they’re not so much resolutions as capitulations to emotional exhaustion.
   This week one such difference raised it ugly head again.  Our “cycle” began, and as I watched it…it occurred to me that a new approach was necessary as history finally taught me that “digging in” or imposing my view was not a long-term solution.  So instead of focusing on our differences, I decided to see what was the strongest point we had in common. It took me about 15 seconds to find the answer. Harmony. I knew we both wanted harmony in our lives. 
   When my husband came home from work yesterday, I said I wanted to talk. I am certain he was readying himself in a defensive posture. I simply said, with conviction, “I am your best friend and you are mine. More than anything, I want harmony.”
   That was it. Pure and simple. No aggression. No argument. No defense. Nobody going on and on solidifying their stance. He just put out his arms to embrace me. 
   Our differences didn’t disappear. In fact, it’s the diversity of us that makes us unique. But what did occur was that we found common ground…higher ground…from which the view was more beautiful and the air was cleaner.
   It may not be that simple in Gaza or Iran. Or it may be. 
   It has to start with individuals, one on one. They have to understand that we are all one. And they have to set their intention’s and their vision on the highest good they share and communicate that to one another. It will likely be the same in any language. 
   Shalom or Salaam. 
   The answer is peace.

>It’s challenging to write a blog entry every day.  It means you have to either have strong thoughts and feelings about something going on in the world that day or you have to have an original idea to share.  In fact, some days I just wake up, sit down to write, and nothing!  Nothing new grabbing my attention or stirring my emotions in the news…and nothing new popping into my head, either. What’s a writer to do?  Today is like that.  So, as I sat here wondering what I could write about, I started to think about nothing.  Actually, I’m thinking about “no-thing” which isn’t quite the same thing.
    No-thing is that place scientists and spiritualists refer to when they talk about pure potential.  It’s the space between words…the gap between your incoming and outgoing breaths… the void that existed just before the Universe was created.  It’s the empty moment, so to speak, when all things are possible.
    We live in a culture that honors and reveres…worships, actually….things.  Money, cars, houses, fame.  All of these things are the measure of success and symbols of attainment within our society.  But if more things are the measure of success, and success should bring satisfaction, then how come we are, generally speaking, stressed out and unsatisfied?
    Perhaps the answer lies in no-thingness.
    What if the true measure of success is being able to reside in that place of pure potential, that place of no-thingness, from where something sacred is always about to happen.  A place from which some personal, creative act that enlivens you and at the same time enriches the world in which you live can be birthed.  A place perpetually alive with possibilities.
    We are so driven by materialism to do more and acquire more that we are in perpetual states of doing and acquiring.  These are not peaceful states of being.  In fact, they are not states of being at all.  They are states of doing.  Virtually no one and nothing in our day encourages us to cease all of the activity and just rest in that place of pure potential where, truly, miracles originate.
    I know the moments I feel most alive and most engaged with life are not when I have acquired a new “thing” but rather when I can sense the possibility of a new awareness.
    Or find myself having written a new blog entry from nothing.

>My friend’s mother, Ruth, was way ahead of her time.  She was a free spirit long before it was fashionable.  Ruth tried a conventional upper middle class life but it just wasn’t meant to be. As a divorced woman, she set a remarkable example for her three daughters of how to listen to your inner voice and follow your passion.  And this was 30 years ago when Ruth was 35 and “New Age” was just being born.
    I loved a lot about Ruth. She taught me volumes about individuality and passion, but what had the greatest impact was her unwavering support of individual creativity. She used to teach art to seniors at retirement homes and I recall how she would pass out paper and colored pencils and before anyone drew anything, Ruth would walk around the room and put an “A+” on the top of every paper.  Then, with her mischievous smile and joyful delivery, she’d say, “Okay, you’ve already got your grade. Now draw.”
    It was masterful and always accomplished the goal: to remove judgment, release inhibitions, and permit creativity to flow. It was brilliant…but it got me thinking about why it was even necessary.
    The vast majority of people around the world say we believe in a higher power. Whether it’s within a religious, spiritual or scientific framework, we as humankind none-the-less acknowledge the existence of a Creator or Creative Force from which the material world emanates.  If your belief is religiously or spiritually based, then you believe you were created in the image and likeness of that Creator. If scientifically based, then you can prove that exactly the same elements are the foundational building blocks of everything that exists. So whether it’s Creator or Creative Force, we pretty much unanimously agree that it all begins with a creative act of which we are but a part.
    If we originate from creativity, then it follows that we are each composed of some aspect of that creativity. If we are each comprised of creativity, then we can each create. It’s that simple and that’s the point.
    Every single individual, every unique human being, has the capacity to uniquely create.  We do that by combining the energies from which we originate with our own unique configuration of DNA. We co-create. Whether its art, music, flower arrangements, software or relationships…each of is is fully equipped to co-create.
    Unfortunately, from early on in our lives, we are discouraged from uniqueness and creativity. We are instead guided and herded into conformity and replication. After a while, it becomes harder and harder to remember that we are creative beings by nature, so most of us spend our lives trying to re-discover that which make us unique.
    That’s what I loved most about Ruth. She led by example. She not only gave everyone permission to draw but, by the way she lived her life, she gave each of us permission to be the uniquely co-creative individuals that we inherently are.
    She was also a mystic and a psychic. A few years ago she “dropped her body” and “went home.” I remember years back we’d talk and laugh and she’d say that after she died we’d have a signal of some kind set up to see if it was possible to communicate after death.  We never got around to actually doing it and, although I do think I clearly hear her in my head sometimes, I can’t be certain about what that is or where it’s coming from.
    What I do know for sure is that she’d give me an “A+” for this piece.

>  There’s a lot of talk about religion in the news. The influence of the “Religious Right,” the terrorist bent of radical Islam, the religious affiliation of the Presidential candidates running in 2008.  Yes, lots of talk about religion. There’s just not much talk about faith.
   I learned about faith from my father.  Growing up, all of the dictionaries in our house had the word “can’t” crossed out. My father had done that. He didn’t believe in not being able to do anything you set your heart and mind to do. He believed in himself, the goodness of others, the need to be charitable and always, a positive outcome for the future. I knew he believed in me, too. 
    Religion, he wasn’t so keen on. He was  offended by the politics of  organized religion and the hypocrisy of too many of its adherents. He didn’t espouse his faith. He lived it.
    Years have passed since my father’s death, but the lesson he taught me about faith has been reinforced by my own life experiences. I too have walked away from organized religion, put off by its politics and its hypocrisy, as was he. I have come to know that the only real “sin” is doubt. Doubt in yourself, doubt in the goodness of others, doubt about how connected we all are, and doubt about the future of mankind. 
    Religion divides us. It says “I am different than you because I believe this way…and our ways are irreconcilable because each of us believes that either 1) there is only one way or 2) my way is the best way. 
    Faith operates on the positive principle of inclusion. Faith says, “Everyone is valuable” and “Everything is possible.” Faith says, “I may not know how to accomplish my goal at this moment, but I’ll figure it out.” Faith tells me, “You are not alone and you are loved.” Faith promises hope for tomorrow no matter what today brings.
    A Rabbi I know is like my father.  He has faith in the goodness of everyone. One night near dusk, the Rabbi was walking home from a train station in Brooklyn when three teenage youths bent on conflict surrounded him. They threatened his safety and taunted him with ethnic slurs. The Rabbi responded from a place of faith. He looked at these boys and saw only their goodness and a positive outcome for the whole encounter. After a few minutes of holding his ground and conversing with the youths, each boy could not understand why this Rabbi was not afraid of them and for his safety. Finally, one by one, they concluded that he must be crazy and so they let him pass. Rabbi walked the rest of the way home as he always does, smiling and making small talk with strangers.     
   He’s my kind of Rabbi. His peers take issue with many of his “non-traditional” views and approach but regular folk just love him. He exudes faith.
    We have a 14 year old daughter and a few dictionaries. I haven’t crossed out the word “can’t” in any of them. But I like to think my father is smiling, wherever he is, knowing that I try and live his kind of faith and that our daughter thinks she can do anything if she puts her heart and mind to it.

>   A 17-year old girl is dragged from her home in Iraq and brutally stoned to death while neighbors and police watch yet fail to intervene. Participants and onlookers alike capture the event on their cell phones. Her crime was being a Kurd who fell in love with a Sunni. I am moved to write not about cultural differences or religious intolerance or the objectification of women, but instead to write about the power of fear.  
   The men who committed this heinous act, and the men and women who watched it occur, were all frightened. They have been raised on fear.  Fear of the state, fear of religious leaders, fear of an afterlife predicated upon reward and punishment, fear of their neighbors and, ultimately, fear of their own power. They have been raised on fear to keep them under control. People under control do not exercise their G-d given right to self-determination. They do not think for themselves. They do not pursue their dreams. They do not questions those with apparent power. And they do not upset the status quo.  
   I’m not just writing about Iraq, or Muslim countries, or the Middle East, or Third-World countries, or nations with oppressive regimes. I am writing about the world we live in, the reality we create over and over each day, regardless of the politics or culture in which we live when we act from fear.
   Our emotions are the fuel that drives the engine of our thoughts.  When we feel strongly about something, that feeling gives life and breadth to the idea or ideas that it supports. Fear is a powerful emotion. It’s high octane fuel. Controlling its flow is in the hands of a cartel as surely as is the flow of oil for our cars and our homes.  
   The cartel that controls the flow of fear is made up of every individual, every organization and every political entity that knows that if they make you frightened you are infinitely more likely to be controllable, manageable and effect their will.
   We were born with FREE will.  So let me propose another scenario. 
   There are only two emotions. LOVE and FEAR.  Every other emotional response that we humans are capable of stems from one or the other.  It’s that simple. So, you can fuel your ideas, and therefore, your actions, with fear or you can fuel them with love. The choice is yours. That’s what people who rule by power hope you forget. The CHOICE is YOURS. 
   I get so tired of hearing proponents of war say that we cannot bring troops home because the only way to peace is to “win” it and that it’s victory that ends wars. Peace ends wars. No war ever ended war. It may have temporarily frightened opposition into remission…but war inevitably returns. It may be years later or somewhere else on the planet…but since we know at the quantum level there is no time and also that we are all connected…war “later” or “somewhere else” is still war and still now.
   Let love be the fuel that motivates your thoughts. Let it motivate your responses. Reject those who market fear in the hope that it will drive you into submission to their view of the world and keep you from your own.
   A beautiful Kurdish girl and a Sunni boy fell in love. Love didn’t kill them, fear did.