The Gift of Self-Knowledge

>Having “officiated” at so many divorces (I’m a former divorce lawyer) it’s easy to think you know it all, or at least have seen and heard it all, which should likely make you smarter than the average consumer.
    Not so as I recently found out.
    You see, I’m going through my own divorce and had to retain a lawyer. While it’s true that intellectually I could represent myself, emotionally it’s not a very bright thing to do. There are just too many emotions in play when it’s this close to home. Having created and marketed my own DVD for women going through divorce, I was certain that I knew what to look for. I had actually taught women how to hire a lawyer! While it’s true that it might have been easier had this all occurred in Pennsylvania where I used to practice, we had moved to New Jersey a few years ago and I really didn’t know much about local lawyers. So, in a sense, I was having to make my decision as would anyone seeking to hire a lawyer.
    I thought I chose wisely. Turns out, not so much.
    Within a very short period of time (less than two months) I knew with certainty that this person (and his associate) were not for me. Technically, I think they are not for anybody. They were egotistical, non-responsive, poor listeners and costly. I was continually stressed by not only the dissolution of my marriage and the divorce process, but by my lawyers as well.
    So I fired them and felt great…even before I had found another lawyer. Which is the point of this story.
    How I felt.
I often write and speak about how our hearts are the real internal guidance system we are born with, not our brains. It’s our emotions that most accurately guide us when we are properly attuned and responsive to  their call. I hired those lawyers from my mind. I fired them from my heart.
    Here’s the irony and the paradox.
    When I was represented by this well known and well respected lawyer I was uncomfortable, in constant need of correcting his errors and generally feeling unsafe. When I fired him, I felt great. I actually felt as if a weight had been lifted off of me. So there I was, in the middle of a divorce,unrepresented and feeling great! My emotional Self was signaling me that I had done the right thing. Taken the right step. Intellectually and objectively I was suddenly, and seemingly, worse off. Emotionally and subjectively I was soaring to new heights.
    There are two teachings here.
    The first is that no matter how much information and knowledge you acquire through study and second-hand sources, it’s never the same as having the experience yourself.
    The second is that while a mind is a generous gift given us by Creator, the wisdom necessary to live Your Highest Good comes from the heart.
    Finally, because I wouldn’t want to leave you wondering about the outcome, let me tell you about my new lawyer.
    He met me on a Sunday night at his office because he knew I was in need of making a decision. He listened, he understood Who I Am with little explanation, he had his own stories of charitable representation  as I had in the days of my practicing law, and he is a man of his word.
    I go about my daily Life now attending to things of importance, virtually unconcerned and not distracted by the divorce and it’s potential drama because in my heart I know I’ve got the right lawyer.
    Literally…in my heart.

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